Teach Them Diligently

By now everyone is back to school. Last month, Emily wrote about engaging your school-aged children in conversations about truth, and I want to stay with that theme. This month I am addressing some unique concerns for families who send their children to Christian schools. 

Christian schools can be a gift to families. At their best, they partner with parents in the education and formation of children. However, like any setting where you entrust your children to the care of others, it is always important to be aware and discerning.

In Deuteronomy 6:6-9, God places the primary responsibility for the discipleship of children on parents. In the text, Moses is speaking directly to Israel on behalf of God. However, if we consider the greater context of this passage, we will see that this is also included in the New Covenant.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates (Deut. 6:4-9).

Jesus says of the command to love the Lord with all your heart, mind, and soul that there is no greater commandment (Mark 12:29–30; Matt. 22:37–38). What God required of Israel in Deuteronomy, Jesus says He requires of all people. Verses 6–9 then show what that love looks like within the context of a family. The words must first be on the hearts of the parents. Then the parents teach them diligently to their children in the ordinary course of each day. Paul too reiterates this in Ephesians 6. Fathers are to bring their children up “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).

I begin with these things for a couple of reasons. First, there is a true principle that we cannot give what we do not have. If a parent does not have a relationship with the Lord, if they do not have the truths of God written on their own hearts, they cannot teach them to their children in a way that truly gets to the child’s heart. Now, of course, God is not limited by us, so please do not hear me saying that. What I am saying is that if you—the parent—do not know Christ, do not know His Word, it makes it very difficult to introduce your child to Christ and His Word. Second, it is the parent’s God-given responsibility and honor to be their child’s primary theological voice. God did not give that role to schools, churches, or anyone else. 

My hope is to share some things that will help you navigate the world we live in (particularly Christian schools) alongside your children in a way that puts the authority of Christ, Scripture, and the Gospel at the forefront. 

Unique concerns to consider when your child attends a Christian school:

1. At a Christian school there is a built-in sense of trust. Part of the reason parents send their kids to a Christian school is the belief that their children will be cared for and educated by people who share their faith and are like-minded (and like-hearted). That offers a sense of comfort. One of the concerns with this is that sometimes that comfort can make it easy not to ask questions. There is a trust that teachers, faculty, and staff adhere to a biblical worldview and biblical fidelity at least on primary doctrines. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. This comfort can also make it seem like your child is receiving sufficient biblical formation at school, which can then lead to their primary instruction about God, His Word, salvation, etc. coming from school, rather than their parents. 
2. There is a belief that peers at a Christian school will be good influences, of the same mind, and raised in the same ways. This too can give parents a level of trust and comfort that can create a false sense of security. In 2023-24, Pew Research conducted a study on the percentage of people who say they are Christians in the United States. The study was made up of more than 35,000 adults from all 50 states. 62% said they were Christians.¹ According to a 2025 report from Dr. George Barna of the Cultural Research Center at Arizona Christian University, only 4% of American adults have a biblical worldview.² While these studies are not a sampling of Christian school families (parents in particular), they are still worth considering. It shows us that calling oneself a Christian and having a biblical foundation are quite different things (this can also be something to consider with teachers, faculty, and staff). While a discrepancy this broad might not show up in a Christian school, it is still important to be aware of with your child’s peers and their families. 
3. Related to number two, there is a belief that faculty and staff will engage in relationship with one another, your children, and you in a way that honors God and others. This is always the hope, but it is not always the case. This is important to consider both because of how the adults in authority interact with your child and because of the interactions your child witnesses. 
4. There is a sense of security in the rules that Christian schools have. The rules themselves are not a problem. However, how the rules are treated (and sometimes enforced) can be. Throughout the four Gospels, Jesus repeatedly interacts with the Pharisees. He often addresses the way they treat their man-made rules as a show of righteousness. This can sometimes happen with Christian schools too. God’s law and school handbooks are not the same thing, and there is sometimes a pattern of treating them as such. 
5. Along with number four, there can also be a pattern of learning to give the appearance of faith, without faith. This is something that can occur in any setting, but within the Christian school system, it can be easy to conform to rules and expectations, and become performative. 

So what should you as a parent be looking for? Here are a few examples: 

1. Is the gospel assumed, or is it taught? Chapel and Bible class can often focus on moral improvement with a Christian vocabulary rather than gospel-centered preaching and biblical exposition and formation.
2. Are school rules distinguished from God’s commands, or are they treated as the same thing?
3. What happens when a student asks a real question? Is doubt shut down, or do those in authority take students to God’s Word and patiently work through it with them? Is there compassion and grace offered to students seeking truth when they struggle to understand?
4. How are “respectable sins” handled compared with the sins in the handbook?³
5. Does the teaching match what you believe regarding primary doctrines (Scripture, the person and work of Christ, salvation, etc.)? Or does it match the school’s culture?

How can you engage your children?

1. As Emily wrote last month, the first step is a home where questions are welcome and kids are not reprimanded when they bring something controversial or doubt-filled to you. I would encourage you to read that article for more on this. 
2. Engagement with your kids depends greatly on your child feeling safe to come to you, which means your everyday relationship with them is very important. 
3. When your child comes to you with something they heard, saw, were taught, etc., take them to the Scriptures for the truth. You not only want to give them an answer, but also teach them where the truth comes from. This helps them learn to go to God’s Word themselves.
4. Conversations can be simple. Here are some examples of ways to engage them:

• • • What did you hear today? 
    • Does that match what God has said? 
    • If we are not sure, where do we look? 
    • How should what God says shape how we view this topic/situation?
    • You can apply these things with entertainment, chapel, worship music, conversations they hear or are part of, Bible class, etc.

I had a conversation with my seven-year-old niece the other day when I picked her up from school. My five-year-old niece and almost two-year-old niece were both in the car too. She was telling me about Bible class and that she was learning about Adam and Eve. She said something along the lines of, “Adam and Eve ate from the bad tree and sinned. And God stepped on the snake.” I was intrigued by this summary, so I asked her questions. Eventually I got to the thing I have heard her say a few times: the bad tree. Now, my five-year-old niece’s Bible memory verse at school a couple of weeks ago was part of Genesis 1:31. “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” So I asked her, “What did your memory verse say about everything God made?” I recited part of it to give her a start, and she said, “very good.” So I asked my older niece, “If everything God made was very good, and God made the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, was it bad?” “No,” both girls answered. 

We then talked about what was bad in terms they could understand. If Mommy has a plate of cookies on the kitchen counter, are the cookies bad (clarification: not are they bad for you because they might be)? No, the cookies are not bad. If Mommy tells you not to eat the cookies, but you eat them anyway, is that bad? Yes. Why? We disobeyed Mommy. This is like what happened with Adam and Eve. The tree was not bad, but God told Adam and Eve not to eat its fruit. They ate it anyway. They disobeyed God and that is what was bad. 

Now, is whether we call the tree bad or not a primary doctrinal issue? I don’t think so. But it is not true according to God’s Word. So having a simple conversation about what God’s Word actually says helps to teach them to test what they learn (this might have been a seven-year-old’s assumption, not an actual teaching error), with God’s Word. 

How can you prepare yourself for these conversations?

1. Preparation is mostly about your own heart and mind. As I mentioned at the beginning of the article, the need for God’s Word to be on your heart before you can apply it to your child’s heart is clear from Deuteronomy 6 (this is actually the same principle Jesus applied to the apostles making disciples, and how Christianity spread). 
2. Learning and knowing the Bible as one story rather than a set of morals attached to isolated stories is part of how you develop a biblical worldview. Seeing and understanding how the Scriptures all tie together and culminate in the person and work of Christ is key. 
3. The Scriptures are sufficient for life and godliness (2 Pet. 1:3). They are profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work (2 Tim. 3:16-17). 
4. Find trusted resources with a biblical worldview that can help you delve deeper into specific topics that your children are being exposed to at school. I will provide a list of a few resources at the end of the article.

Conclusion

Christian schools vary greatly. It is always the hope that they will be biblically sound and gospel-centered. But this is not always the case, and even the best of Christian schools will fall short at times because they are run by humans who fall short. No matter what school setting your child is in, you will face difficult conversations and topics because we live in a world that is fallen. 

I know this can feel like a lot. It does not have to be complicated. Your relationship with your children is what allows you to have these conversations with them. Your God-given responsibility and privilege is to diligently teach them God’s Word and who Christ is. God has already given you what you need in Christ and in His Word.